SABOTAGE in Philadelphia !
The Beastie Boys And How Not To Sell A Listing !!
You may be wondering what relevance the Beastie Boys have to how not to sell a listing in Philadelphia. The Beastie Boys are old school post-punk rappers. Their lyrics are questionable and the subject of much of their music is inappropriate for young children. But, they are infamous for saying it like it is even if we don't always understand what it is they are saying. But, today while I was attempting to schedule showings for a client, The Beastie Boys words filled my head and I recalled their hit song Sabotage.
Here is my story. I had 6 homes to schedule for my client. No problem. Or so I thought. Real Estate 101. Right ? Wrong !
Appointment 1: Lyrics "I Can't Stand It. I Know You Planned It"
Not using an automated appointment center so I have to call the broker's office. The phone number was a fax number. Then I call the 2 alternative numbers, they were the wrong office. I had to look up the listing agent's name through a MLS directory, emailed him and called him at the office and on his cell all of which was a preposterous waste of time. We are talking about a $620,000 home here ! Is this a case of not wanting to use a coop agent to do both sides of the deal?
Appointment 2: Lyrics "'Cause What You See You Might Not Get"
No photos and no property description on a $650,000 home. Am I nuts ? I mean why doesn't this seller list with us ?
Appointment 3: Lyrics "I'm Tellin' Y'all It's Sabotage"
Called the automated appointment center. Hallelujah! But ouch ! This appoint can only take place between 7am - 8am. I am not Jack Bauer and this is not 24. This home is over $550,000. Good greif, good luck, good bye !
Appointment 4 and 5: Lyrics, "I Feel Disgrace Because You're All In My Face"
Called appointment #4 Realtor on their office phone and received the office voice-mail. It was 3 in the afternoon on Friday ! Has Happy Hour been moved up and no one told me? I did another search on the MLS to find the listing agent's email and I emailed him. He email's me back. "I absolutely must be there to show the property." I think to myself, "Um... Why? The property is vacant."
For appointment #5 Re read #4 and add this: Agent says, "Can you narrow down your appointment to a 15 minute time frame?" I wanted to say, "No. I can not. I have 4 other properties to show and I am not going to rush my client through the biggest decision of their entire life just to accommodate your schedule for the afternoon ! Put a lockbox on the door and SELL the home already !"
24 hours later...
Appointment 6: Lyrics, " Oh My [Gosh], Its A Mirage"
Called the automated appointment desk where the customer service representative told me I'd have to call the agent directly. I thingk to myself, "Doesn't that defeat the purpose of using the automated appointment center?" I called the agent directly, left a message. Found her email and emailed her as well. She emails me back, "That property is withdrawn. It is not even built yet and there will be no sample until maybe March." Like a Mirage in the desert. Now you see it, now you dont. And my request to see floor plans is still unaddressed. Fun stuff !
So it was sabotage in Philadelphia. I am sure of it. Tha Beastie Boys sang it and it was evident to me how not to sell a listing. I hope other Realtors and Sellers out there take this blog post in the spirit in which it was intended by the Beastie Boy's and myself. Please take our message into consideration unless you really want to...
... SABOTAGE !
Peace out y'all.