When a Client Becomes a Mentor - Perspective - Philadelphia Real Estate
Over the course of the last year I have been trying to find balance in my life and attempting to manage stress and anxiety with our tremendous amount of volume of real estate transactions that we do. With each deal comes its own level of worry, stress and anxiety.
To be honest, I have not been that succesful with this goal as I have been struggling with crippling migraines. The frequency comes and goes but for the most part of the last year, I will have a bad migraine at least once a week.
I have been thinking the answer is more in terms of managing time better and scheduling as well as getting more exercise. Im sure both of these will help a little...
During a settlement yesterday, I asked my seller client how he does it ? I have always really respected this individual who is now 52 (looks like 35), is very fit, is a top tennis player in the state for 45 and older and runs a very successful business in addition to owning a lot of real estate.
His answer suprised me... it was not go to the gym 7 times a week (which is what he does and I used to do)... his answer was one word "Perspective" . I asked him to elaborate.
His answer was "Chris, I am 52 years old, and every day of those 52 years, I wake up in the morning and am grateful to be alive. I wake up every day no matter what is going on around me. I can let all the little things bother me, but I choose not to."
He continued "Every day I take time for myself and for my family, no matter what is going on with the business and the economy. Every day I take a walk in the part and go to the gym. All the business things will get done, and the items that I do not get to today, I will get to tomorrow. Either way, I do not worry about it. But the most important thing Chris, is perspective on life."
Life is short. It does not make sense to be worried all the time about potential deals. It does not make sense to be consumed by stress and anxiety that results in health issues such as migraines.
However, it does make sesnse to wake up every day with gratitude. To be thankful for all the things that you do have and not worry so much about the things you do not...
Perspective is beautiful... The answers sometimes lie in how we look at the world, as well as ourselves.
I want to take a moment to thank my friend...
How has perspective changed in your life ?
Chris and Stephanie Somers - Philadelphia Real Estate
The Philadelphia Real Estate Blog
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Hi Chris,
Boy, just loved this one, good stuff. I'm in complete agreement!
For me personally, I'm doing my best to live in the moment, at times it just slips away before you realize it.
My husband got a whole new perspective as a cancer survivor. He believes there is no such thing as a bad day. "Any day they're not shoveling dirt in your face is a good day."
Lynda - this one is a good one for me too... being personal : ) . Living in the moment is key and a great goal ! Glad you are in complete agreement and thanks.
Vickie - That is great perspective - awesome. I love the quote - is terrific AND so true.
Take a piece of paper and write down 10 things you are thankful for and 10 things you want to achieve each and every day and you will be amazed how accomplished you feel at the end of the day. I don't know how much it alleviates stress tho...LOL!
I just started going to the gym in October so I can see what he is saying, the only problem is finding the time!
I hear ya about each transacting bringing new stress into your life. You can think you have experienced it all and then you realize maybe not so much :)
Renee - That is a great exercise. I look foward to getting back to my regular gym schedule, maybe with Nov through January being a little bit slower, there will be more time ? That has been the challenge for me. As far as the deals, the good news is that we always learn something from every deal, but sometimes it can be so hectic having too many deals going on. On the other hand, it is a blessing too !!! It is hard to complain about being busy : ) I think I just need to worry less though too !
Hey thanks for the post, sometimes we all need some perspective.
Brian - you got that right. Perspective is powerful.
Hi Renee - this business can be very stressful, that's for sure. Sometimes we are so exhausted that we forget how lucky we truly are, and how thankful we should be for what we have. Great post!
Christopher,
Thanks for the post. It is so important to be focused and have balance in one's life. sage advice from the mentor/friend.
LIfe is definetely short. You hear it your whole life but it doens't hit you untill you realize 10 years just flew by. We all take life for granted untill our health starts to affect us. That's when it's already too late to change things. (arguably). The most successful people in life are those that plan ahead for the future. This is difficult for most as it causes you to save money, work hard all in hopes that life's indulgences will come in retirement. While tha'ts true in part, in those years previous to that, one must find joy in what he does. If every day you wake up and dread going to work, then change your job. If you are unhappy living where you live, then move. These things are all easier said than done as money rules our lives but relatively speaking, they can be done. One just has to go through some loopholes and work hard to achieve it. But i strongly believe that you have to take care of your body and your family as life comes full circle and not doing those latter 2 will end up biting you in the ass.
Perspective is the perfect word to describe it.
William - Yes, definitely. Sometimes I love being successful that I will let listing appointments and the like leak over into personal plans. One of my goals for 2009 is to be more balanced and have a different "perspective" .
Castellum - I hear you. I think it is important to practice discipline and have balance so as one approaches their golden years, they are not plagued by health issues. Life is beautiful for sure !
Chris, Your client certainly does have it figured out! I was actually just having a similar conversation with a very good friend last night. I love the saying, "If you are not grateful, nothing good can ever come to you"!
Thanks for posting this great reminder!
Cristal - That is a great saying. It is amazing the power of the brain and thoughts - from positive thinking leads to positive results... and those that think negatively self-destruct. Thus, perspective can really alleviate worry and fear.. and be replaced with faith and gratitude.
He has a great perspective. Life is all about today, and knowing what we are capable of, our potential, and also our own short comings that block all that goodness. It is smart to live each day as it comes, giving thanks for all that will occur, and having the gratitude to give thanks for all our blessings getting through the events of the day before.
Jim - Well said. Sometimes it is easier said than done. I have noticed when I am down, I can be told all the right things and even remember all the right things, but it can take awhile to bounce back. Other times, I can bounce back much quicker. At the end of the day, I guess it just comes back to perspective... and faith. The other factor that I am starting to realize is that I can be too hard on myself... hard on myself even based on external events when things are too much out of my control (saying could have done this.. or should have done that...) . I think I need to stop doing that... just learn from the mistakes, be okay and move foward !
LOVE the life is short part. This business could worry you to death, which causes bed eating habits, etc. which can snowball. And good post about being down - We can't always pull a Tony Robbins bounce back just through positive thinking. For me it is, in the end, always about faith in my God. Even when nothing makes sense, there can be a peace like no other.
Steve, I like what you said regarding "there can be a peace like no other". I am really going to try to have a better perspective on life and replace some of my fears and worries that cause unnecessary stress and anxiety with faith. It begins there and starts with a different perspective. I am glad I had that talk with my friend, glad I wrote a little about it and really appreciate these comments. Thank you !
I used to get migraines as well and they would knock me out! I left the Corporate world (was an accountant for 20 years) and entered real estate and have them only occasionally now. I do attribute it to balance and priorities. I start each day (mostly) with my daily Bible study, I try (but often fail) at a brief walk outside, and then on to email. I always have dinner with my family and I love to read a magazine article from time to time. I take the down time as a blessing to catch up on things that don't get done during busy times, so I don't stress while they aren't getting down. What goes up must come down...I know there will be slower times. I am by nature a glass half full kind of person. I am forever grateful for my family, my health and my relationship with God. I don't want to get too preachy...just that for me, it helps my perspective. I'm close to your friends age...maybe there is something to that!
Cindy - thanks for sharing that. I really appreciate it. My goal for 2009 (and even now) is priorities and balance. We work soooo much - success is great but we certainly need to take more time for ourselves and take some needed breaks and vacations. I think with less stress and anxiety the migraines will go down... at least I hope so ! I really appreciate you reaching out. ~ Chris
Wonderful post, Chris. Over the last few years, I've been working 80+ hrs per week and have been trying to find that balance in my life! I'm getting much better and agree that a positive outlook and getting some perspective can enhance your life... and quite often your real estate business!
Kerry - you are welcome. It is soooo easy to get caught up with more, more, more, wanting all the listings and all the buyers. While this is not realistic, it can certainly keep you too busy and time will be taken away from other activities. Balance is key... I am learning how to say no here and there and want to spend more time for myself and with Stephanie of course : ) . Good luck with your balance as well ! Lets make it a goal together ! The paradox is with more efficiency, it should also help our own real estate business too.
An inspiration for a better life! What a wise man to learn that early in life (IMO 52 is young) because many never learn that before it is too late. Thanks for posting as, I may need to still learn this.
Mary - you are welcome ! I have been thinking about this post almost every day since I wrote it. It has really resonated with me as something that is really important for me to learn and to be willing to take a step back, take a deep breath and smile.... and not be as worried, stressed out and full of anxiety over all the little things. Thanks for your input : )